Day 2 of the cutting diet. Officially weighed in tipping the scales at 204.4lbs. The last time I made an honest effort to get on stage I cut down to 185lbs even. Not in a good mood...and it's only the beginning...first two weeks are the worst.
My sub came over last night. What a freaking shit show. I knew better than to see her in person as she is a stage 5 clinger (Wedding Crashers quote), and was just totally awkward. She's an awkward girl to begin with, very nervous, doesn't make eye contact well, and has some other issues I think going on as well. The evening was "ok", as I finished some more prep cooking for the week and got the kitchen back in order as I like. The night ended...extremely awkward, as she climbed on my lap and sat facing me while straddling me...and there...in this 45 seconds of awkward staring back and forth..I had to drop the hammer on her. I have zero interest in kissing this girl, let alone sleeping with her...she serves my need to dominate, and I've tried to be crystal clear about this numerous times. Not my fault if she can't put her feelings in check...anyway, the conversation needed to happen...it did...ended in waterworks...and this morning my phone has been blowing up with "I don't understand" and "but, how come", and so on and so forth. Thank God she's leaving today...won't make that mistake again...I'll just be "busy" next time.
Tools at work have been shotty at best. It's hard for me to do my job when the software I'm trying to use is garbage. Then again...I'm not sure why I'm even trying to make a difference. It's thrown in my face repeatedly throughout a week that my opinions/views/perspective are irrelevant to how things will be run here at work. I overheard a conversation this morning where I learned I will be taking on even more work and responsibilities (along with one other guy), so that the asshole who was promoted can focus on a single task. I'm juggling about 8 things at the moment, and this asshole will only be responsible for a single thing. Make sense to me. I need a new fucking job.
Bowling this year has been going well...except that the family is falling apart. Pops is going to need knee surgery again it looks, he's limping along with Aleve and duct tape. I'm nursing a shoulder / elbow / wrist issue it seems from week to week. My Lil brother seems to having some issues with his hand. He has lost all strength to grip, let alone hold most anything in it, yet to stubborn to go to the doctor. Looks like this season is a wrap haha...nowhere to go but downhill for the rest of the time.
A coworker of mine shares a passion for cars like I do. He also drives a VW, and for the better part of a year we have had discussions on how we would like to do xyz to our cars. He disapproved of all of my ideas for his car. Yesterday, we walk out for the day and tells me to come check out his ride. Hmmm...about 4k worth of work done to it, and 99% of it exactly as I said he should do. I'm happy, pissed, jealous, envious, you name it. I'm to broke right now to do anything like that to my car. I'm also trying to be "responsible" as I'm not sure if I will have a job come end of this govt fiscal year, as our contract is up for re-compete. He's on a different contract, so he's solid for a few years, and also came into a windfall of money with the passing of his father. I know he wasn't intentionally trying to rub it in my face...but it burns the same nonetheless. It's been years since I've worked on a car...a passion that I've loved, and have had nothing but arguments and fights with my family and former girlfriends. Why is it so hard for others to accept your hobbies and passions??
Gf is sick as a dawg. Called me this morning that she wasn't going to work and is going to go to patient first. Gave her her meds and she's at home resting. However, she wants to come down to my house. Says there is less going on there and she feels more comfortable. Must be nice...and what am I to do? Can't tell her to stay the fuck home...it's new years, and to be honest, I wouldn't want to be in that house sick either...let alone when I'm healthy. I'm not trying to get sick either! Guess I'll be sleeping on the couch and I'll wash the sheets tomorrow.
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